Kitchens, DanceOffs and Cheese Toaster Squareness
by tiduscanfly
Summary: A story I wrote for a contest. Oneshot. A bit random, but it actually makes some sense. It starts with trashing the kitchen and ends with escaping the post-dance-off drama.


**WOOOOT!!!!! Okay, the words in bold are the ones that I had to use for a contest thingy. I really only had to use ten but this was so much more fun ^-^ **

"Hey." Fang flopped down on the couch next to me. We were staying at my mom's house and the younger kids had decided they wanted to see a **movie. **Iggy and my mom were with them, so Fang and I decided it wasn't really necessary for us to be dragged along.

Fang grabbed the remote and started flipping channels on the TV. For whatever reason he stopped on some commercial.

"Get the super-deluxe **toothbrush **package for just **three thousand two hundred **dollars!" I snickered. "Order now and get a free **butterfly **design on your toothbrush absolutely free! Just call 1-800-**DONKEY**!! That's 1-800-D-O-N-K-E-Y! Order now!"

I slowly stood up. The commercial was way too weird for me. "Want something to eat?" Fang just stared at me. "Don't worry, I won't cook anything. I mean like chips or something." He shrugged.

"Sure." I went into the kitchen and stared at the cabinets. _… where does mom keep snacks? _I wondered. I climbed onto the counter and opened the highest cabinet. I noticed some Barbie cereal that said "The new **magic tutu **ken doll! Available in stores now!" on its side. I rolled my eyes and looked at the next cabinet. Inside were a bunch of placemats. Curious, I pulled one out. It said **"placemat" **in large bold letters on it.

Wow. How original.

I nearly fell off of the counter when someone tapped me on the shoulder.

"Having problems?" Fang asked, obviously amused. I spun around and stuck my tongue out at him. Unfortunately, this action caused an **extra large **bottle of ketchup that was by my foot to fall into the extra large bottle of vinegar (my mom had learned that we needed lots of food) which had the domino effect and soon enough the whole kitchen was a mess.

And of course that happened to be that second that everyone walked through the front doors.

My mom froze when she saw the kitchen. "Max?! Fang?! What happened here?!" She demanded.

"I blame Fang!" I cried instantly, pointing at him (which earned me a death glare) "**He set the dinosaurs loose!**"

My mom gave me her "don't-lie-to-me-young-lady look, which was followed by an awkward silence. Well, apart from the quiet, happy music in the background.

"**It's the ice cream truck!**" Angel cried, and in an instant the room was empty except for me, Fang, and my mom. I sincerely hoped that Iggy and Ella left that fast only because they wanted to get away from my fuming mother.

"WHAT THE **YODEL BATHTUB REFRIGERATOR **DID YOU DO TO MY KITCHEN?!" She exploded after the door closed. She managed to make us both shrink back. She sighed. "You have three minutes to make this room spotless!" With that she stormed out of the room.

"Nice going, Max." Fang grumbled. "Good luck." He said with fake cheerfulness. He tried to leave but I grabbed the back of his shirt to hold him back.

"I don't think so. You're the reason I knocked all this stuff over anyway."

The kids all skipped into the room eating ice cream. Nudge had a wild look in her eyes. _Oh no, Nudge on sugar… _ She glanced at the kitchen, her eyes lingering on some food spilled on the floor.

"**CHEESE**!!!!!" She screamed, flinging herself towards it. I restrained her by her wrists, sending Fang a pleading look. He sighed.

"Nudge, leave the cheese alone." He took her from me and herded her out of the room. I could still hear her shouts of "**TOASTER**!" As Fang lead her down the hall.

Suddenly Angel turned to me with bambi eyes. "Max, can we go out to eat?"

"Like… a **restaurant**?" I asked, confused. She nodded. I hesitated. "Oh, alright. But let's wait 'till Nudge calms down a little first…" We all listened to Nudge's strange outbursts of "**SQUARENESS**!" for a minute.

"Maximum, Fang, have you finished?! 'Cause **time's up**!" My mom stormed into the kitchen. When she saw nothing changed, Fang gone, and the kids dripping ice cream all over the floor, she left again, muttering under her breath.

"So we can go out to eat?" Angel looked hopeful. I nodded. She squealed. "Yes!!! Then **let's go to the mall**!" She hopped up and down in excitement. "I could ride around in one of those **stroller **things and it would be-"

"ANGEL!" I cried, covering my ears. "You sound like Nudge!" She grinned.

"Sorry!" She said cheerfully.

_-*-_

Angel decided to be a doll and let her big brother choose where we should go.

McDonalds is not exactly "eating out". But we did get enough food for everyone to be full afterwards.

"Max, look at that guy." Nudge whispered to me while we were eating. I glanced at the fat guy she was pointing to. "He's the size of **beetle juice**!" She whispered.

"Beetle juice?" I echoed.

"It's one of the biggest stars in the sky." She told me.

"Nudge!" I whacked her upside the head. "Be nice to strangers!" I said with a straight face. She burst out laughing.

Angel and Nudge were disappointed that I didn't let them go to the mall. Instead we went right back to my mom's house.

"Let's have a **dance-off**!!" Gazzy cried, leaping up from the couch. Nudge, Angel, Iggy, and Ella whooped in agreement. Gazzy turned the radio to a random station.

"I'm going first." He announced. "With a dance I like to call…" He paused for a dramatic effect, wiggling his eyebrows. "**Pole Vaulting**."

_Oh God help us… _He started doing some weird leaps and spins. Nudge was doing something underneath the coffee table.

Gazzy's dance ended after three minutes of horror, and Nudge decided it was her turn. She wriggled out from under the coffee table just before it collapsed right on Fang's feet.

I heard him mumble "**Can we move to a manor?**" Under his breath. Probably because manors would have more space to get away from feet-crushing eleven-year-olds.

"Nudge, what did you DO?!" I demanded.

"**I disassembled a coffee table!**" She said proudly. I rolled my eyes. Nudge did some dance called "**Floppy Ears**", which involved her grabbing her ears and pulling at them (she's a strange, strange girl…).

I stared at the **lightbulb **and tried to ignore the horrible choreography. She blew me an **air kiss **with her last step. I forced a smile onto my face.

She came and sat in between me and Fang on the couch- something I was NOT happy about. I heard Angel giggle.

"Oh, sorry guys." Nudge started to get up. "If I move will you get me one of those **mini laptop**s?" She asked.

"Maybe." I answered. She happily got up. I scooted back over next to Fang before saying "No." She pouted and sat on my other side.

After the dance-off, Nudge started flipping channels. She stopped on some weird Disney show.

"OMIGOSH IT'S **HANNAH MONTANA! NECKLACE IN DISGUISE**!!!" She screeched. I buried my face in Fang's shoulder and plugged my ears. "I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!!!" I cautiously moved away from Fang's collarbone when she'd finished her outburst. "IT"S ABOUT-" I went back to Fang's shoulder. "AFTER MILEY'S SECRET IS OUT AND SHE HAS TO GO TO THIS CELEBRITY **CAMP **FOR A YEAR!!!! IT'S THE BEST. SHOW. EEVVEERR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Gazzy, Fang, Iggy, **let's go build a pyramid **in the backyard…" The boys shot out of their seats and started to follow me out.

"Wait, Max!" Angel called. I winced and turned around. "Don't you **wanna' play the blankie game?**"

"Umm… maybe some other time, sweetie…"

I left the room wondering _What in gol's name is the blankie game?_


End file.
